( Draft 3 )
Creativity is Like Air …
A co-worker once said, “Life without creativity would be like life without air.”
I was a visual designer for over 15 years and I’ve worked with many high profile clients.
Six years ago, I luckily shifted to education.
For me, working with young children is the most creative environment.
There’s far less fear, insecurity, and anxiety… just more smiles and enthusiasm.
And the most exciting thing EVER is drawing with my daughter Jade.
Everyday, I breathe in the joy.
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( Draft 2 )
My greatest fear is being a failure as a dad.
Sometimes I feel very inadequate. I’m not very handy at home and my career is a soft, glowing question mark. It often feels like I’m not there for my daughter. She’s asleep when I leave for work and it’s often dark when I return home.
Maybe I’m just an idealist — or a perfectionist — and I’m being too hard on myself. Maybe my expectations as a parent are too unrealistic. During the past few years, I’ve focused on “being kinder to myself” and “letting go” of my imperfections. I’m trying to learn “to accept”.
When my wife was pregnant with our first, I was totally stressed and asked my dad for some practical input. He was born in poverty during the 1930’s and somehow managed to earn enough to support seven children. His advice seemed out of character — and it surprised & frustrated me.
“All you need is love.”
That basically summarized his advice.
I thought, “What kind of garbage is that?” I felt disoriented, confused … Even a little betrayed.
But within months, my dad died of cancer and I held Gregory, my stillborn son, in my arms. Both their deaths shook me. I felt physically sick and mentally drained. Holding my son Gregory, it dawned on me … My dad was right all along.
Our love is all that really matters.
My wife and I needed a tremendous amount of love from all of our family and friends to heal, recover, and trust life again. Everyone’s love was our survival. And now, we’re blessed with our daughter Jade.
So, why do I draw for Jade?
Well, I’m not really sure … Maybe it’s because my wife once suggested it. Maybe I’m trying to prove I’m a good father. Maybe it’s a form of healing for the loss of our son Gregory. Maybe it’s all these things.
Or maybe it’s simply a daily symbol of love, celebration, and gratitude for a beautiful, little girl.
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( Draft 1 )
Before I leave to work, I create a drawing for my daughter.
When we’re together, we talk and tell more stories and create more artwork.
We discuss fun activities, our feelings, our family and even seasonal changes.
For me, these are our happiest moments together.